Group A: South Africa

This whole World Cup business will be taking place on the continent of Africa for the first time ever. In fact, it’s the largest international sporting event to ever take place in Africa.  As a result, skeptics have cast a pall of doubt over South Africa’s ability to host an event of this magnitude without fucking it up. It’s like the Catalina Wine Mixer, and South Africa is Will Ferrell. This thing better go off without a hitch, or else the entire continent is FUCKED and Africa won’t host another event for roughly a thousand years.

Your World Cup 2010 Preview!

HEY, the World Cup is coming up! Apparently, contrary to my own personal experience, people do play soccer past age 8 and it’s actually kind of a big deal. I don’t have the facts and figures on soccer’s popularity, but judging by ESPN’s round-the-clock commercials, I’m predicting that it will be the most watched event in the history of mankind. ARE YOU READY?! Do you know the difference between a free kick and penalty kick? Do you know what a vuvuzuela is? DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING? Well, I’m here to answer all of these questions and countless more as part of your official 2010 WORLD CUP PREVIEW.

That’s right, over the next ten days, I’ll be profiling each group and team in the rapidly-approaching Fifa World Cup. This should be fun whether or not you’re a soccer fan as the previews will range from hardcore strategic analysis to inane ramblings about famous shit from each nation. I’d tell you that I’ll be providing around-the-clock analysis, but I ALREADY WORK AROUND THE CLOCK! So kick back, relax and drink it in, most of group A should be up today and keep checking back over the next two weeks for more features.